Large and in Charge
I settle all disputes, by whipping out my dick;
this is not exaggeration, this is not mere schtick.

It all began, when I was just 14;
a rumble was brewing and I had to intervene.

I dropped my drawers to avoid the grief;
transfixed everybody forgot their beef.

Cause I’m large, and you know, I’m in charge.
And you know, that I’ve got a 12 inch, cobra when I’m sober,
And the ladies all call me Sarge.

Next up was a stint as a rodeo clown;
I found out that any bull, I could back down.

When he’d go for the cowboy, I would intercede;
I whipped out my dingaling, and let him breathe.

Dumbfounded, the bull would stop dead in his tracks;
he would slump back to his pen, embarrassed to the max.



Next I put my attribute to good use in college;
I was not concerned at all with attaining carnal knowledge.

I joined the debate team, each match ended in stalemate;
they couldn’t focus on their arguments; this was great !

I finally ended up at the U.N.;
I would bust out Mr. Johnson, there would then be Zen.

I am now integral to our foreign policy;
biggest dick, this is the new diplomacy !